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Having “The Talk”

with 2 comments

SO…

if you’ve been following me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that my dad is in the hospital. Here’s all the details since I’ve been mostly generalizing things. On December 16, my dad had a brain tumor removed from over his cerebellum. I was in the hospital at the time with him and the surgery completely removed the tumor. He went back to Elizabeth City, NC, where he lives, a few days later after the doctors said it was ok. He was home (not by himself, but no I wasn’t there) and had a seizure on Christmas night. He went to the ER, they treated him and sent him home. He then had another seizure early early morning on Monday and then sent him back to the hospital were he had his surgery done. That’s when I get a call telling me where he is and a little bit about what is going on. Since then, his mental state has declined and he went from talking, to just saying his name but being able to wiggle his toes on command to not doing anything but sleeping. As of today, he opened his eyes when asked to twice and he gave the nurse a thumbs up this morning. Progress. The only bad thing is that this actions haven’t really repeated themselves throughout the day.

My dad had thyroid cancer around 2005 which even after taking out his thyroid, the cancer has shown up in other spots in his body. They were all treated and the latest was this spot in his brain. He’s diabetic, has high blood pressure and is hard headed. His wishes include “No Blood” and “Do Not Resuscitate” which I don’t agree with but it’s his religion, not mine. Anyway, a lot of treatments were going on without me knowing it since I was off at school and elsewhere so I had no idea the extent of the cancer.

So that brings me back to today. My dad is sitting in this crazy limbo state. The doctors haven’t come to a real conclusion as to why any of this stuff is going on. They are treating him like he has an infection just in case there is one that they aren’t seeing. His kidneys weren’t working all that well but they have been getting better. The doctors “think” that maybe once his kidneys are all better, he’ll just come right out of this state. As of right now, we play a waiting game.

As for me, I’m coming back to Raleigh shortly. (I have a butt doctor appointment Friday yay) I’ve been in the hospital with him but I’m overwhelmed with all of this. I’m the one who has to make all the decisions for him. Now that I know what’s really going on with him health-wise, I’m even more confused. I had a doctor straight up ask me how long I wanted him treated for and how aggressively. That was the worst question of my life because I had no clue what his wishes are. I just want my daddy to live and be able to walk me down the aisle one day.

So my point of this is yes to update you guys on what the hell is going on with me but to also say, talk to your parents and loved ones about their wishes. Make sure you aren’t kept in the dark. You need to do it now before they are in a state where they can’t make decisions for themselves.

Oh and please stop asking me if I’m ok…I’m not smashing lamps over my head but when I breakdown, you guys will know. Promise.

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Written by Regina

January 4th, 2011 at 9:13 pm

  • Ycram

    Praying for you Regina! Stay strong! I am SOOO glad that last year you made the decision of NC!! All you can do now is pray, God will see you through this! If you ever need an ear, please let me know! Hugs to you!

  • suzi

    Butt doctor? Should we ask?
    Stay strong. U are loved and support is where u least expect it.